


Nothing Like You & I

by Mozilla95



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Evanstan - Freeform, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Lots of Hurt, Lots of plot, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Plot, Resolved ending, Rimming, Sebastian Stan - Freeform, chris evans - Freeform, dont get too upset yet, first avenger, love making, sebby why you do this, winter soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-21 13:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9551474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mozilla95/pseuds/Mozilla95
Summary: "I can't, I don't think I can do this anymore." He almost rushes out, and Chris stares at him, Sebastian grabs Chris's jacket and pulls him into him, forcing their lips to meet in hasty clash. Chris is taken back by the gesture and slowly melts away at the soft lips on his.-A story inspired by fan photo edits, a lot of plot, a lot of heartbreak, but smut ! Love making smut.





	1. My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is my second fic I've written, I was totally inspired by two fan photo edits I saw, and this entire mess cam out of it. 
> 
> Posting what I've written so far, will continue to post chapters, so STAY TUNED. 
> 
> All chapters named after songs from The Perishers album 'Let There Be Mourning' which always reminds me of these two in love. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was the first table read of Chris's new movie franchise, and he'd been dying to meet all his new costars. He'd seen a few things they've all stared in but never met them himself. The group mingled over coffee and Danishes before a set sit down, he introduced himself to Hailey and Dominic almost right away, knowing he'd be playing close to them. He met a few others who he highly regarded in their careers. But he still hadn't met his Bucky Barnes yet, the best friend to his character, he'd seen Sebastian Stan a few times in a couple of movies, always admiring his steel eyes and smile that was to die for.

Almost like clock work, Sebastian jogged in through the door, apologising about being late, quickly making his way through the group, shaking hands with everyone. Before he knew it, the smaller man was standing in front of him, flustered and panting. Chris held his hand out, and Sebastian stopped for a moment, his large smile faded for a moment before returning as he looked up at Chris, offering his hand in return.  
"I'm Sebastian, you must be Captain America." He chuckled, Chris was really taken back by the man before him, he was about a thousand times more gorgeous in person than he ever imagined he could be, and sure enough that smile was intoxicating. "Uh, yeah I guess that's me." Chris smiles back, realising he's been shaking Sebastian's hand for a little too long.

Sebastian moved over to Hailey and Dominic next, but still continuing to make eye contact with Chris here and there. Chris was electrified, those eyes bore down into his soul, and he almost stopped breathing until he was interrupted by Joe inviting everyone into the room.

Sebastian took a seat next to Chris, making small talk over the script. The group begins to read through, and everything goes smoothly. Chris always feels a little uncomfortable in these situations, all eyes being on him, but today he felt a little more confident than usual. As he reads he could feel Sebastian looking at his lips, he dared to look up at the brunette next to him, and sees the bastard lick his lips, almost throwing him into cardiac arrest. Chris tries to centre himself, but finds himself repeatedly loosing his place, stumbling on his words. Great, there goes the confidence he swore he just had. He stops, takes a deep breath in and giggles before restarting his line. He tries his hardest to focus on the rest of his lines, but all he can see at the corner of his eyes is Sebastian's thighs. Chris gets through his read, and makes his way through the rest of it without staring too obviously at Sebastian. He can barely breathe by the end of it, that man is a masterpiece. He charms everyone in the room when he reads his parts, matching his facial expressions to his lines, like he's apart of the story, like he's always known Bucky Barnes as an old friend.

 

Training starts almost right away, and Chris is in the gym at least five days a week, along side Sebastian. He was hoping their schedules wouldn't mash too much, he's not sure how much of a sweaty Seb he can handle, but of course they have matching gym days three out of five of those days.  
Three out of five torturous days. Chris tried hard to just focus on the exercises he had in front of him, but it was becoming increasingly harder having Sebastian near him making those sinful noises as he worked out, covered in sweat, panting and heaving. Chris swore he could've passed out from lack of oxygen to his head, if he didn't have his own trainer breathing down his throat. He just continued to breathe and exercise twice as hard.  
'Only a few more weeks until filming' he kept reminding himself every time his eyes couldn't be drawn off the muscles of his costars back.

 

Filming began, and Chris had a slight break from being tortured in the gym in front of Sebastian. He worked solely with Hailey and Stanley for a while before a few scenes with Sebastian. Which required Sebastian to wear a god forsaken 1940's army uniform, that fitted him like a glove. Chris swore this man was trying to kill him.  
He tried his hardest to be annoyed at how gorgeous Sebastian looked, but just got more annoyed at himself. Almost everyone on the crew was so comfortable with Seb, always laughing and joking with him like old friends. Chris couldn't ever pass up an opportunity to interact with Sebastian himself. That mans aura was very contagious, and set everyone in a good mood. Chris always found himself with his hands on Sebastian one way or another when they spoke, Seb never brushing him off, or rejecting his touch, Chris swears he even saw Sebastian lean into him a few times embracing the touch.

Off set, Chris and Sebastian spend a bit of time with each other. They play pool at bars, watch movies over pizza together and spend a lot of time training and filming together. They build a solid friendship over the next few months, almost becoming inseparable. Chris learns quite a bit about Sebastian, about how he feels about his previous rolls, and where he wants to see himself go within his career.  
Much to Chris's dismay his feeling don't diminish, he only feels them grow stronger. Every time he sees Sebastian laugh, he feels his stomach do a flip, when Sebastian pats him on the shoulder, he feels his body electrify, and when they hug goodbye, Chris always leans in a little too much, letting himself get drunk on his scent. He finds himself getting lost in those steel eyes way too much, and getting high from his beautiful smile, and the dimple on his chin, Chris is completely lost for this man, and he knows it's so wrong. He knows Sebastian is dating someone, a woman actually, which makes all his feelings that much worse.  
He has even met Margarita, and she is a lovely lady, and just as beautiful as Chris thought she would be. She's charismatic, and makes Sebastian happy. Which is why Chris lets himself feel for Sebastian in silence, he would rather pine over his friend that he knows is happy, then risk a friendship for a possibility of a short fling. Surely this is just a phase, Chris is sure it will pass soon.

 

The crew go out for dinner and a few drinks after wrapping up filming, celebrating the film. Chris is finally excited to drink something that isn't straight vodka on ice, and he orders himself a few beers, and takes his place next to Seb at the table.  
"No Margarita tonight?" Chris asks, Sebastian shakes his head and looks down at his beer that Chris is placing in front of him.  
"Not tonight, she's got a few things with some friends, so thought I'd spend the night with you guys. Grace you with my presence." He chuckles, slapping Chris's shoulder. They drink a bit through the night, and Chris feels himself getting a little too tipsy, catching himself watching Sebastian a little too much.  
A few of the crew members start to leave and it's only a few of them left, Chris thinks Sebastian's had a bit too much himself when he rests his hand on Chris's thigh and squeezes it, smiling at him. Chris offers to walk Sebastian home, afraid of drinking too much and letting his secret out.

The two head outside, walking the streets in the light snow. Chris feels the warmth of the alcohol in his stomach, walking alongside Sebastian is warm in itself, but he can't get carried away. He's just drunk, everyone gets a little handsy when they're drunk. But his drunk mind gets the better of him, replaying the smile Sebastian had when he had his hands on his thigh. He thinks about those hands all over his body, scratching and kneading his body, thinks about that smile as Chris pleases him, matching all his needs, pulling moans out of hi- Chris shakes his head violently.  
He does not need to be sporting a hard on while he's trying to maintain his cool.  
"I can't believe filming is finally over, do you have much booked up until the next movie ?" Sebastian asks, sobering Chris's mind a little. "I have one more movie this year, just something small and then I'm jumping into the Avengers next year." Sebastian sighs, "Chris" Chris realises Seb has stopped walking and is standing behind him a few paces, snow lightly piling on his shoulders.  
Chris turns to look at Seb, who looks wrecked, he walks to him, "What's up Sebby? Are you alright?" Chris is genuinely concerned, his head is swimming. Sebastian looks up at the taller man, "I can't, I don't think I can do this anymore." He almost rushes out, and Chris stares at him, Sebastian grabs Chris's jacket and pulls him into him, forcing their lips to meet in hasty clash. Chris is taken back by the gesture and slowly melts away at the soft lips on his. He moves his hands, one on Sebastian's lower back, one taking a place on Sebastian's cheek. Sebastian licks Chris's lips, inviting himself into his mouth. Chris thinks he's about to pass out when their tongues touch, Seb tastes of beer and a stray cigarette he saw him sneak out to have at the bar. Sebastian moves his hand underneath Chris's shirt, touching skin to skin, and Chris isn't sure if he shivers because of the cold or because of Sebastian's fingers drawing patterns on his side. Sebastian deepens the kiss pulling Chris flush against him, moaning quietly into his mouth. Chris pulls away from the kiss, still holding Sebastian staring into his eyes. "Sebby," he says quietly, and Sebastian closes his eyes, brushing his eyelashes against his cheek, he leans in for another kiss and Chris complies. Brushing lips, tongues and teeth, Chris can't get enough, the kiss only making him drunker than he already is.

They pull apart and Chris steps away, taking a breath and coming to terms with just what happened between them. He stares at Sebastian, watching a wave of emotions fly over his eyes. "Chris, I'm sorry, I just-" Chris stops him, "No need to explain, we can just pretend it didn't happen, if that's what you want?" Sebastian shakes his head and grabs Chris's hand, "I don't want that, I just need time to make a choice." Chris nods, "Lets get you home Seb."  
Chris knows Sebastian will wake up tomorrow and regret the kiss that sent Chris into a high. He knows Sebastian will go home, get into bed with his girlfriend and wake up in the morning forgetting the taste of Chris's lips, trying his hardest to forget what happened between the two, and they will return to their normal ways - just friends.  
He feels his heart tighten in his chest as he looks down at Sebastian's hand in his. Seb walks ahead of him, hand still linked in his. "Come on." He smiles, Chris stares into those steel eyes, knowing there's something there for him, but feeling his heart screaming. Chris follows Sebastian, and they walk to Sebastian's hotel hand in hand, getting snowed on in the dark.  
Sebastian throws his arms around Chris's neck and dives in for one more kiss, making it last, making it deep. Chris tries not to fall to into the kiss, he swears he's guarded himself, but the moment his lips touch Sebastian's he falls apart, melting in the freezing temperature. Chris and Sebastian breathe heavy into each other, and Sebastian has his hands on Chris's stomach again, running his hands over his sides, pulling a moan out of Chris, that he devours almost right away. Sebastian kisses Chris's cheek, and down his neck, leaving light love bites. Chris can't comprehend what's happening outside the lobby of Sebastian's hotel, because he can't think when Sebastian has his lips on his neck. He just holds Sebastian as close as he can, letting himself get lost in a moment he knows he won't have again. "Sebastian.." he whispers in his ear, Sebastian letting his hold on his neck go, putting his hand on his Chris's face before diving into a lasting kiss with Chris. Chris feels his eyes start to water and his heart pound, sending him into a wave of emotions.  
He had the man of his dreams on the tip of his fingers, but not at the right moment. He was about to walk away from this moment, and not be able to come back and that frightened him, he didn't want to let this gorgeous man go, but he knew the timing was wrong, he couldn't have Sebastian when he was with someone else.  
The kiss ends, and Sebastian continues to hold Chris close, just staring into his eyes, "You are beautiful." Sebastian whispers on Chris's lips, Chris fighting back tears. He lets Sebastian go, and watches his face fall. "I'll see you at the premiere, be safe Sebastian." Chris says as he lets their hands fall apart, "Please don't be a stranger." Sebastian just about whimpers.

Chris walks home to his own hotel, wiping tears away, feeling his chest get heavy. The encounter with Sebastian had sobered him up quite a bit, he feels his stomach turn and he puts his hand on the nearest post to stable his balance. Chris sobs under the fall of the snow, and tries to clear his head. Breathing deeply, and wiping at his eyes, he makes it home a damn mess. He gets himself into bed, mourning what could have been.

 

 

 


	2. A Reminder

The premiere comes up much faster than Chris hoped. He spent the last few weeks by himself, lounging around in his room, ordering room service and binge watching terrible movies on Netflix.  
Today's the first day in a while where he actually has to leave the house.  
He's had a few messages from Sebastian that he responds to as platonically as he can, they're mostly Sebastian asking how he is and if they can meet up for coffee, Chris always passing saying he has a meeting, or a family thing, which is entirely a lie. He just can't fathom the thought of seeing Sebastian. At least not without keeping his hands off him. Chris felt so wrong to have these feelings towards his costar, he felt almost sick to his stomach. Mostly because of his girlfriend, but Chris just couldn't come to terms with the fact that he might not be the only one in this. He knows life is all about timing, and this was just not the right timing, it never is for him. 

Truth be told, Chris was ready to settle down and be with one person, to start a family and start turning down a few movies to be at home with his family at night. The only thing that's changed lately is that Chris now imagines himself coming home, and sprawled on the couch under a blanket is Sebastian, shushing him as he walks through the door. "You'll wake the kids," he always whispers and Chris comes over and bends down to plant a nice husbandly kiss on his lips, Sebastian smiling against him. Just happy to see his lover home.  
Chris always shakes himself out of the fantasy, trying not to hold onto it too tight. 'It's just a crush...' he repeats to himself every time the thought comes to him. 

He's sitting on the edge of his bed in his underwear, fresh out of the shower, staring blankly into his closet. He's had a few brand name places send him suits for the premiere, but he still can't help but to stare into his closet, mindlessly. He takes a deep breath before bracing his suit hanging up in a plastic cover, its navy blue. Chris steps into his suit, admiring himself. The suit fits him well, and he decides on it before heading out. 

He arrives at the premiere, feeling a buzz in his belly. He does love his admirers and fans. He knows there's been a few people waiting for a Captain America movie, and it's finally on the big screen, with his face plastered all over it. He blushes as he steps out of the car, remembering that tonight is mainly about his character, and all the hard work himself and his coworkers have slaved over the past few months, there's cameras flashing everywhere, he does his best to smile and wave, talk to everyone he can, as well as sign autographs before he finds Hailey and Dominic. Totally not noticing that Sebastian isn't here yet. He can do this, he can make it through tonight.  
He takes a few photos with Hailey, who is looking stunning in her red dress, gets in a few with Stanley and of course with Joe, who has worked so hard at this movie. 

Then it happens, he hears someone say his name just loud enough for him to hear. Chris swears his entire body breaks out into a sweat. He hasn't laid eyes on Sebastian since they were drunk out the front of his hotel. He swore over the last few weeks he'd done some personal healing, which all goes out the window almost the second he sees Sebastian in front of him. Dressed to the nines, black suit, white shirt and a black tie. Sebastian smiles at him, all teeth and sin, he raises an eyebrow at him, before turning to the cameras, posing for a few photos. He leans over to Chris wrapping his hand around his waist, posing for photos. Chris gives in to his will and wraps an arm around Sebastian's shoulders. After all, they are best friends in the movie, they should show a little love for the cameras. 

The cinema starts to fill out easily and quickly, Chris sits next to Hailey, and Sebastian a few seats down from him. Chris shuffles in his chair, feeling oddly uncomfortable with the fact he didn't sit next to him. He shakes his head, knowing just how silly he is being.  
The movie has been playing for almost an hour, and Chris can barely focus. He's gotten so lost in Sebastian's acting, the way Bucky looks at Cap - that he forgot for a moment that they were acting, and Sebastian doesn't really look at him like that.  
Chris excuses himself, escaping quietly to the bathroom to splash his face with water. He stares at himself in the mirror for a while before he hears the door swing open. He looks down to the sink, hoping it's anyone else but the person he knows it is.  
"Chris." The familiar voice recedes, putting a hand on his back. Chris wipes his face so he can see and turns around to see - the man himself, in front of him, looking like a sick puppy. "I'm alright, just a bit light headed that's all Seb." Sebastian stares at him for a while, putting a hand on his cheek, stepping closer. Chris can barely breathe, he stares back at Sebastian, steel eyes fighting his baby blues. Sebastian steps closer again, tracing his eyes over Chris's face, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips. The bathroom is dead quiet, and Chris feels time stop between them. He drops his arms, and wraps them around Sebastian, deepening the kiss. Any hint of doubt, guilt, pain or healing he had over the last month since seeing Sebastian has gone right out the window. He can't think of anything but the man on his lips right now.  
Sebastian pushes the kiss further, moving his hands down Chris's body, panting into his mouth. "Chris, I can't pretend.." he discloses, like a secret against his lips. Chris shushes him, and holds him tight against him, kissing his hurt away. 

Sebastian sounds wrecked, almost in tears when he pulls away from Chris, still in his arms. "Come home with me, tonight." Sebastian almost whispers. Chris nudges his nose against Sebastian's face, planting tiny kisses on his cheek. "Anything you want." He answers without thinking, they fall into another deep kiss, realising they've been gone a little too long for anyone not to notice. So Chris leaves a kiss on Sebastian's lips, and heads for the door, a smile on his face. "I'll wait for you," Sebastian mentions as he sees Chris sneak out the door. 

Chris gathers his head as he walks back to his seat, he's not even sure if Sebastian is still with Margarita, what did he mean when he said he couldn't pretend anymore? Chris just needs to breathe, and trust Sebastian, trust himself. Maybe this is finally right timing, maybe Chris finally gets his win.  
He sees the image of his future again, seeing himself and Sebastian on the couch together, lazily kissing between ads on the tv. 

Chris takes his seat, and Hailey looks at him a little worried. "Are you okay?" She leans over to him, he nods with a smile and gets himself comfortable, loosing himself in the end of the movie.  
After the movie, there's applause for all involved in the film, the team say they're thankyous, and sneak away to the after party being held at Joe's place. 

Chris stays for a while, mingling as much as he can, but always keeping his eyes on Sebastian, making sure he knows where he is.  
Sebastian does the same, sending Chris some cheeky smiles, licking or biting his lips whenever their eyes meet. At about 11pm, Sebastian starts to make his rounds, saying goodbye to everyone in the room, he says goodbye to Chris, and raises an eyebrow at him and he leaves. About fifteen minutes later, Chris is saying his own goodbyes, making his way out the door.  
When he steps outside, he starts to walk in the directions of the cabs, when Sebastian jumps out grabbing his shoulders, startling Chris. 

 

The two walk together towards the cabs, and hop inside, Sebastian gets in first, Chris following slowly behind.  
The ride is mostly silent, Sebastian grabs Chris's hand and laces their fingers together, smiling as Chris watches him. "I've missed you." Sebastian confesses. Chris stares at him wordless, and plants a light kiss on his lips. Sebastian reaches to caress his cheek as the car stops, Chris pays the man and the two of them hop out to the front of a different hotel than the other night.  
Chris starts to get hopeful about himself and Sebastian's future. 

Sebastian leads him up stairs, easily teasing Chris in the elevator, no kissing, just soft hands under his jacket, light breaths on his neck, and a little moan in his ear. Chris is about to loose his mind when the elevator doors open, and they're out the door, hand in hand down the hall to Sebastian's apartment.  
Seb leads them inside and stands in the hallway, waiting for Chris to close the door, who leans up against it when he does. Sebastian steps forward nuzzling Chris's jawline with his nose. Chris runs his hands over Sebastian's shoulders, pushing his jacket to the floor. Chris captures Sebastian's face in his hands and just gazes into his eyes, taking in the moment. Sebastian closes his eyes and breathes Chris in, Chris taking the plunge and softly kissing Sebastian with the most passion he's ever kissed anyone.  
They fall into a deep sensual kiss, tongues meeting like old lovers, lips caressing each other's like they were never apart. Sebastian wraps his arms around Chris's neck falling into the kiss, knees weak with desire.  
Chris trails his hands down Sebastian's body, cupping his ass and picking him up, wrapping his legs around his waist, he begins to walk - never unlocking lips. Chris manages to find the bedroom with only a few minor mishaps, and lets Sebastian fall against the mattress, blanketing him almost instantly, pulling at his tie. Chris shakes his own suit jacket off, and rids himself of his own tie and belt. Sebastian marvels the man above him, getting himself out of his own belt. Chris is back on his mouth in an instant, still kissing him with the utmost passion.  
Sebastian runs his hands though the blonde hair, pulling slightly, drawing soft moans from Chris.  
Chris begins to unbutton Sebastian's shirt slowly, making the most of their time together. He kisses every bit of exposed skin, absolutely lavishing Sebastian in the best way. He pulls Sebastian out of his shirt, sitting up to do the same to himself, kicking their shoes off at the same time.  
Sebastian gasps when Chris leans back down and their skin touches, locking lips again, Chris lightly kneads his hands over Sebastian's arms and waist.  
He unbuttons Sebastian's pants, and pulls them off his long legs, massaging Sebs calves and thighs as he comes back down to kiss his neck. Chris runs his hands down Sebastian's sides, cupping his hand around his ass, and pulling his legs onto his back, Sebastian gives in to Chris, and wraps his legs around his waist. Chris thrusts their clothed cocks together, bearing a moan from Sebastian that goes straight to his head.  
Chris sits up one last time, to release them on the clothes left on them, throwing them aside. He returns to Sebastian once more, who instinctively wraps his legs around Chris. Trailing his hands down Sebastian's body, he tickles his way down to Sebs ass, brushing his entrance with his fingers lightly, making Sebastian's squirm. Chris brings his fingers up to Sebastian's mouth and inserts them, the man below him sucks them wet and dirty, watching Chris enjoy the show. Tracing his fingers down once more, he outlines Sebastian's entrance once more, then breaches his muscles, earning himself a moan from the brunette which makes him smile as he kisses his chest to subside the burn.  
Sebastian rolls his body in pleasure, and pants into Chris's neck, who is pumping two fingers in and out of Sebastian, driving him crazy. After a few minutes of mind numbing moments, Sebastian takes the reigns and pushes Chris off of him, and straddles his waist, shocking Chris out of his dominant stance. Leaning into his neck, Sebastian leaves tiny love bites and open mouth kisses along Chris's jawline, and nibbles on his ear. "I want you to sit up," Sebastian breathes, Chris's hands are all over Sebastian's back, he lets go to sit himself against the bed head behind him as ordered. Sebastian hops off of Chris and busies himself looking for lube and condoms in his drawers, when he returns he sees Chris looking ever so sexy, slowly stroking his own cock.  
"This is my time to pleasure you, hands off." He snarks, Chris chuckling as his hands reach of for Sebastian, who's climbing back on the bed towards him. Sebastian leaves a sweet kiss on Chris's lips before turning his back to Chris, he throws one leg over Chris, mostly on all fours and Chris just can't help himself, he grabs his ass, and traces his tongue across Sebastian's hole, not quite what Sebastian had planned he moans loudly, letting himself fall to the mattress, enjoying his lovers tongue. He plants his face between Chris's calves, biting his lip through the unexpected pleasure and Chris licks and sucks away at his ass, ringing pleasures out of Sebastian who he can feel violently grabbing at the sheets beneath him, Chris lands a hard spank against Sebs ass, feeling it reign against his tongue.  
Hearing Sebastian gasp only makes him smirk against his cheeks, and do it again. Sebastian's words turn dirty, and his vocabulary has turned completely explicit. Chris brings a finger to Sebastian's hole and pats at it next to his tongue, he feels Sebastian's precome drip on his groin, he releases Seb from his mouth vice-grip and continues to please him with only his fingers. Sebastian sits up after a while, trying his best to regain control, he forces Chris to release his grip, and grabs his arms and wraps them around his waist, leaning his back against Chris's belly, he turns his face so their lips meet in a dirty lust filled kiss. "That was not meant to be about me." Sebastian scolds Chris, who smirks against his shoulder, "I couldn't help myself, seeing you bent over like that, it was just natural instinct." He leaves a bite on Sebastian's shoulder, kissing the wound lightly. 

Sebastian reaches for the lube, covering his hands in it to warm it up, it has a slight strawberry scent that's seeps out into the entire room, Seb runs his hands over Chris cock beneath him, pulling a hefty moan out of Chris, who's been neglected from touch for some time. He teases Chris for a little while, rolling his body against Chris to push the pleasure a little more. Sebastian lines up Chris's erection with his ass, and braces himself before slowly beginning to push himself on it. Both men are panting and moaning at the change in pleasure, and the strain of taking it slowly. Sebastian relaxes himself, and pushes a little bit further every couple of moments, leaving himself completely breathless each time. After a while, Sebastian is completely sat on Chris's erection and is leaning against him, back to stomach, taking his time to get use to the intrusion, breathing in Chris's pants. Chris's hands are tracing patterns all over Sebastian's stomach, praising him, leaving tiny kisses on his shoulder, neck and ear.  
Letting himself out of Chris's grasp, Sebastian begins to move, rolling his hips over Chris's cock slowly, embracing the wave of pleasure collapsing over him. Chris has his hands on Sebastian's hips and back, endlessly praising him, moaning deeply and quietly, Sebastian leans back into Chris, crashing their lips together in a messy attempt at closeness, mostly panting into each others mouths. Sebastian continues to ride Chris, until he feels light headed, and empty in his belly. He moans lightly once more into Chris's mouth, slowing down his pace. Leaning forward, he braces his hands next to Chris's legs and picks up the pace as much as he can, Chris's head is swimming in pleasure, and he can barely see the man on top of him. Constantly trying to keep his hands on Sebastian, who is ever so quick to take control, he pulls Sebastian flush against him, and begins to stroke his cock, bringing some fierce moans to surface. He's latched on to Sebastian's neck, and thrusts up into his body, taking some of the work from his lover. He strokes Sebastian perfectly in time with their thrusts, and starts to hear a change in the moans from the brunette, chest heaving quickly, hands grabbing his hair tightly, he knows what's coming and he and is just as ready.  
Chris rocks harder into Sebastian, matching his momentum on his cock, he feels Sebastian fall apart above him, letting himself go all over his sheets and his chest, he screams Chris's name as he comes and continues to take control in finishing Chris off. He rocks his hips harder and faster, Chris grabbing his hips and ass for a state of balance, Sebastian rides Chris until he feels him spill himself inside of him. Sebastian falls flush up against Chris again, both men panting in a hot daze, he turns back to kiss Chris heavily through the aftermath of his orgasm. 

"Sebby," Chris whispers against his lips. "As much as I want to stay right here, right now, we should go and shower." Sebastian groans at the idea, but knows how right he is. He leans forward, and lets Chris's softening cock fall out of him, wincing at the sudden loss. Chris spanks his ass one last time, causing Sebastian to shriek. Chris grabs Sebastian by the wrist as he hops off the bed, and turns him towards him. Chris sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling Sebastian's naked body against his, he pulls Sebastian down to his level to kiss him, sweetly and passionately. Sebastian falls into the kiss, and pulls away grabbing Chris's hands and leading him to the ensuite bathroom. 

Turning on the shower, Sebastian turns to lean against the door, and wraps his arms around Chris's neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. He drags Chris by the lips into the shower, pulling him under the hot spray of the shower.  
Chris parts from Sebastian, his hand against his cheek, running his thumb over Sebastian's lips. Chris turns Sebastian to wash his hair, an act of pure love from him. Chris washes Sebastian's body, lathering every part of him with foamy soap, taking a little longer over his thighs, ass and nipples, chuckling to himself as Sebastian tries to fight him off. They spend most of the shower close under he water, lazily kissing, just enjoying their moment together.

As Chris hops out of the shower, he hands Sebastian a robe and grabs one for himself, snuggling themselves up in them, Chris leans in for one more deep kiss. He whisks Sebastian off his feet and takes him to the kitchen. Placing him on the bench he stares into those beautiful steel eyes, "Are you hungry?"  
"I've definitely worked up an appetite, if that's what you're asking." Chris rummages through the fridge and pantry, not finding much at all.  
"How long have you been here?" He asks, curiously. "Urm, I checked in this morning actually. Did you maybe want to order pizza?" Sebastian replies, a little cold.  
"Sebby," Chris walks over to Sebastian, hands on the sides of his thighs, he looks at him deeply.  
"How long ago did you and Margarita split?"  
Sebastian looks at Chris, his brows furrowing. He bites his lip, and swallows before answering. "I, um. Chris," he reaches his hand out to Chris's face, who's now backing away from him.  
"Please tell me I didn't just fuck you, when you're still in a relationship. I can't be that to you Sebastian." Chris pinches the bridge of his nose.  
"Chris, it's not like that. Really! Please understand me."  
Chris sighs, "Are you still in a relationship?" Staring Sebastian down, looking for any hint of deceit.  
Sebastian just stares at Chris, breathing shallow, tears in his eyes. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since we had that kiss outside my apartment. Margarita doesn't make me feel like you do Chris, please." Chris starts to walk to the bedroom, "Please don't leave, Chris listen to me." He grabs Chris's arm, who turns around fast, "Just answer my questions Sebastian!" He almost growls.  
"Yes. I am still with her. But you need to let me talk-" Chris pushes him away, stripping himself of his robe, quickly finding his clothes and dressing himself in tonight's suit.  
"I am not a pawn in your game Seb. I am not an experiment for you to try and understand. I am not just some friend you can fuck whenever your relationship gets bad. I am a future, I am a lover, and I will not be used like this." Chris spits out, throwing his jacket on his shoulders, half buttoning his shirt.  
"I know Chris, please let me talk, you aren't listening to me." Sebastian is crying, wiping his tears away. He's partly frightened of how angry Chris is, mostly afraid of Chris walking out that door and never giving him a chance to explain.  
"Don't, Sebastian. I finally thought I had you, I thought maybe our timing was right, you let me believe that. You lied to me. I adore you, can't you see that? From the moment I saw you, something in my heart changed, and you took that, and used it for your own good."  
Chris walks passed Sebastian to the door, kicking Sebastian's earlier discarded jacket out of the way, fighting the memory of him pressed up against his chest. Sebastian grabs his wrist before he can walk out the door, "I need you Chris. You can't just walk out right now and pretend that everything here didn't happen, you can't pretend that you didn't feel that connection in there, you know there's something between us, like no one else."  
Chris doesn't turn to look at Sebastian, he blinks away his tears, and turns his face just enough that Sebastian can hear him, "When you make up your mind, and stop lying to yourself, you can come find me. Until then, I'll see you on the press tour." Chris releases himself out of Sebastian's grip, and exits the room, slamming the door.  
He's well aware his suit that was beautifully fitted and tailored before, is now barely hanging on him, in a complete mess, making it very obvious what he's been up to, he just can't think properly right now. 

As he hops into the elevator he crouches and squeezes the bridge of his nose again, trying to fight back his tears.  
How could he let himself get so deep with Sebastian, before really knowing where he stood himself. He's shaking his head and trying to calm his breathing when the doors open on the bottom floor, he almost runs out to get to a cab as fast as he can. He needs to get home, he needs to breathe his own air before he collapses.  
Surprisingly at 3 in the morning there isn't a lot of cabs waiting out the front of hotels, so Chris calls for one and waits out the front. His phone rings, and he sees its Sebastian, hesitating for a moment, he answers, not saying a thing, just listening.  
"Just come back up Chris, lets talk about this, please. Don't leave it like this." He hears Sebastian sniffle, pulling at his heart strings.  
His entire heart is screaming for him to run back upstairs, and burst into that room and take Sebastian into his arms like there's no tomorrow, but Chris's head knows that Sebastian really needs to see what he's done. He's hurt a perfectly innocent woman, and used Chris, knowing how he felt about him, treated him like he was merely a piece in his fantasy. Chris fights his tears as he sees his cab pull up, "We could've been so beautiful." He hangs up straight away, and steps into the cab, driving away to his hotel.


	3. Sway

Chris wakes up, his head pounding, trying to recollect what happened last night. It comes flooding back to him in no time, Sebastian's hands on his body, his lips, tongue, all of it, every brush of him is engrained in his brain. The way he looked when Chris exploded at him for forgetting to mention he was still in a relationship, the sound of his voice on the phone as he begged Chris back up stairs one last time. Chris knows this is nothing but an entire mess, he feels now that he's over reacted, and maybe he should have stayed and let Sebastian explain himself, but he was just so burnt up with anger that he couldn't think properly. 

Chris shakes his head as he hops out of bed, heading for the shower to clear his thoughts.  
He ends up staying home today, trying to watch movies, but ending up falling asleep on the couch from emotional exhaustion. When he wakes up, it's dark out. Chris decides to head out to his favourite sushi place and eat something for the first time today. He takes a seat by himself in the back, nice and secluded. Sporting a blue cap to hide his tear stained face he orders a few things off the menu and huddles up in his chair. He goes through his phone, seeing a few messages from Sebastian, one from Joe - saying congratulations and Thankyou for last night, Chris completely forgetting he went to the premiere last night as well.  
He goes into his calls and calls one of his oldest and dearest friends, Scarlett. She picks up almost right away, whispering "Hey Chris, I won't be a minute." He hears shuffling and a few doors close, "Sorry, I was just leaving the baby's room, how are you! I saw your movie was a raging success." She says enthusiastically. Chris smiles into his phone, realising it really has been a long time since he's caught up with Scarlett, and he has a lot to tell her.  
"I've been alright Scar, just crazy busy," he answers. "Alright, I'm away from the baby, tell me what's wrong." She exhales, just knowing by the sound of his voice, there is something much deeper here.  
As he food comes to the table, Chris sighs and tells Scarlett everything. About the first time he saw Sebastian, the premiere, their friendship, the fight and everything he said before he left, he doesn't leave anything out.  
"Chris, I'm so sorry." She begins, "I can't entirely speak for Sebastian, but I feel like maybe you should have a chat to him, give him a chance to explain himself. I don't think he's the kind of man to just hurt two people he adores without having a reason. I feel like he may be in a battle with himself. While I don't agree with how he went about this, I do believe there is something much deeper here, I'm sure even you can see that." Chris shoves a piece of sushi in his mouth, nodding to Scarlett's take on the whole situation. "I think I got carried away with myself Scar, I mean I didn't even ask about Margarita before shoving my tongue down his throat. Honestly the moment his lips were even near mine, I couldn't believe the outside world could even exist." He hears Scarlett breathe into the phone, "I realise how much you've told me that you think Sebastian needs to sort out his heart, but Chris I really think you need to do some soul searching too."  
"What do you mean?" Shovelling more sushi in his mouth, "Chris, I think you're in much deeper than you realise. This isn't a high school crush anymore." Chris has been denying how deep his feelings are for months, just pushing them away like they were just getting out of hand.  
"I know you are feeling very hurt right now, but don't forget that he is in pain too. He watched you leave without giving you an explanation. He's probably hurting just as bad, on top of the guilt he has for his girlfriend. You two need to chat." Chris sighs, playing with his food now. "What would I even say to him?"  
"The truth Chris, tell him everything." Chris drops his chopsticks and takes his hat off to scratch his head, returning it to his head.  
"I think I just need a bit of time before I can do that Scar." He sighs, knowing Scarlett is dead right.  
"Just don't take too long. I've got to get going though, lets have dinner next week okay?" "I'd like that." Chris replies, "Thankyou Scarlett, for not judging me, and just telling me how it is."  
"That's what I'm here for. Look after yourself, I'll see you next week." She hangs up, and Chris instantly feels better than he did before. She always knows how to speak some sense into him, and let him see the bigger picture. 

 

It's been about a month since Chris walked out on Sebastian, he hasn't sent a message or made any calls, but Sebastian has sent messages at least once a week, trying to get through a phone call every now and then, Chris always just staring at his phone until it rings out. Sebastian's left a few voicemails for Chris, but he can't bring himself to listen to them.  
Chris has had a chance to sit down and really think about his feelings for Sebastian. He's finally starting to come to terms with the fact that he may be in love with him, and this isn't just a casual work crush. He's decided he wants to meet with Sebastian, in public and talk about what's between them. He needs Sebastian to know he's laying himself completely on the table for him, opening his heart in every way for Sebastian, he's willing to wait for Sebastian to figure himself out, he'll be there. He just needs to be firm on where he stands, and that he will not be taken for granted, and he needs for Sebastian to make a final choice before Chris can commit himself to him.  
Chris sits up on his couch, muting whatever he was attempting to watch and goes through his contacts to Sebastian's name, hesitating for a moment before hitting the call button. Sebastian picks up after two rings, hearing a wrecked voice on the other end, "Chris?"  
"Hey Sebastian, um are you free today? I would like to take you to coffee, if you don't mind that is."  
He hears Sebastian perk up a little, "Urm, yeah, we could meet in half an hour at the place you like on the corner of Maple and Avon Street?"  
"I'll see you there." Chris says coldly, hanging up. He takes a deep breath and stands up to get his shoes on. Staring into his apartment before heading off to the cafe. 

Chris is early, so he orders himself and Sebastian coffees, knowing his usual. By the time he gets to the table, Chris is a ball of nerves, he's trying not to watch around him too much, when Sebastian walks up pulls the chair out in front of him. No words are said, he just takes the seat next to Chris, opposed to the one across from him that Chris thought he might take.  
"How've you been?" Sebastian whispers, Chris looking at him, trying to decipher how *he* has been. "Empty." Is all Chris says before taking a sip of his latte, pointing towards Sebastian's Iced Long Black. "I got your favourite." Chris tries to smile, Sebastian too. He grabs the drink and takes a sip before starting, "Chris, I need you to let me explain, please. Just listen and let me talk. Because you are important to me, and I can't have you walking the streets and sitting in your apartment thinking I'm the worst person in the world."  
"I don't think that about you Sebastian." Chris interjects.  
"What I did to you, and to Margarita wasn't one of the best things I've done. Trust me, I'm not proud. I need you to understand that - in that time, I thought what I was doing was right. I had in my head that I was ready to leave her, and be with you, when I saw you leave at the premiere, all I wanted to do was check to see if you were okay. But the moment your eyes met mine, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think outside of us, and I didn't." Sebastian reaches his hand across the table, grabbing Chris's. Their eyes meet and Chris watches, "I booked that hotel, ready to leave her, having a room ready to dump all of my stuff into. I wanted you to come with me so I could tell you I was in love with you, and I wanted to ask you to come away with me. I bought us tickets to Italy, to Rome." Chris's face softens and he puts his other hand on his and Sebastian's threaded together.  
"I need you to understand that I didn't plan on bringing you to my hotel, fucking you, leaving then going home to my girlfriend. You have this electricity about you that I can't turn away from. The moment I saw you in my room, there was no outside world, there was just me and you, and all I wanted to do was please you. All I wanted was to make love to you, and finally after months of hiding my feelings for you, I wanted to be free." Chris looks down, but doesn't say a word. Sebastian inhales deeply, and takes a sip of his drink putting it back on the table. "I know this is the worst excuse in the book, and maybe I'm not in love with Margarita like I thought I was, because the moment I'm with you, I don't think about anyone, I can't see anyone else but you and me, and *if* I loved her, I'd see her through all the cloud and smoke that fogs my mind when I'm near you." 

"I have been hiding my feelings from you, from everyone since the day I met you Sebastian. I met your girlfriend, and she's lovely. The thought of the pain I have caused her makes me so mad at you, because I wasn't aware of the situation. I felt lied to, and used. I sure didn't feel like you loved me, I felt like a backup plan. Like things were bad between you two, and you knew how I felt and you took advantage of that." Chris bites out. He needs to tell him the truth. "That night we kissed outside your hotel I knew you were going to go up to your room, lay next to your girlfriend and forget all about it. When I sat at home and couldn't shake the memory of your lips, and I thought the night of the premiere would be exactly the same. You'd leave, go home and be with her. While I was left in the dark again." Chris takes a sip of his coffee before continuing, "I just couldn't be that to you. If I was going to be anything to you, I wanted to be everything." Sebastian begins to tear up, fighting his tears as much as he can, "Chris I can't explain where I am right now. I never meant to make you feel like that, I never meant to hurt you, that was the last of my intentions."  
Chris nods and wipes a stray tear from Sebastian's cheek. Gazing into those steel eyes he loves so much. "The tickets to Italy are for tomorrow night, I was going to cancel them. We could still go, if you want?"  
Chris stares for a moment, swallowing, "Seb.." Sebastian stops him, "Chris, lets do this. Lets get away from here, lets go and spend some time with just you and me, let's build our future and refresh ourselves. What do you say?" Sebastian starts to perk up, Chris still calm, "I need a few things from you." Sebastian bites his lip but nods, "I need you to break up with Margarita. I need you to be honest with me. I am here if you don't want to get together right away, I can wait. But I need you to understand that I am not a game. I am in love with you, you are it for me, but I can't be fucked around." Sebastian nods and sniffles, "Will you come to Italy with me?"  
Chris watches him for a moment, "I will, if you leave her."


	4. Trouble Sleeping

Chris is back in his apartment, apparently packing a bag for Italy. A day ago he was barely out getting the mail, and tomorrow he's setting off for Rome with Sebastian. Chris smiles to himself at the thought of a romantic getaway with Sebastian. He lets himself fall into his fantasy, he and Sebastian are cooking dinner for the kids, he's chopping vegetables while pasta boils on the stove and Sebastian comes up behind him, kissing his neck, making him drop the knife and turn around for a good kiss. The kids in the living room making continued "urgh" noises, making the two men laugh.

But tonight something feels wrong about the fantasy, Chris feels sick in his stomach. Is he taking away from someone else's fantasy? Chris feels his chest tighten as he's shaken out of his happy place, his breathing picks up rapidly and in an instant he can't remember where he is. Chris collapses on the floor struggling to catch his breath. For a few moments he can't focus, he can't breathe properly, why can't he just breathe. He does it every day, but right now his brain can't fathom the ability to breathe. Chris is in a full blown panic attack, and he isn't sure what's triggered it. He rides it out, feeling himself calm down after what feels like hours but he knows is only a few minutes. Chris finally has the strength to pull himself together, dragging himself up onto his bed, dropping his face into his hands.  
He hasn't had a panic attack in a while, feeling the rush of it again is debilitating, he feels his heart slow, his breathing catch up to him and his world come back into focus. Making his way to the kitchen, he grabs a glass of water, taking a long sip. He stands at the counter in the dark for a minute, before heading to his room to pack for Rome.

 

Chris wakes the next morning with a heavy chest. Today's the day he goes away with Sebastian, today's the day their future begins. He stares up at the ceiling and lets himself drift off into his future fantasy another time.  
He sees Sebastian bring the dinner to the table, the kids smiling up at his husband - their dad, he takes a seat next to Chris, interlocking their fingers before picking up his fork. His eyes are locked on his, and his fantasy fades away, his eyes still locked on those beautiful grey eyes, but he's seeing them tear up, his arms are wrapped around his neck, he's sobbing and Chris shooshes him, gently patting his hair and back, they wave off their first born to preschool, Sebastian sobbing against him quietly, "When did this happen so quickly?" Chris tightens his grip on his shoulder and the fantasy bursts into flames, knocking Chris out of his daydream.

He sits up in bed staring at the bag on the floor. Today's the day, today is it. It's always been Sebastian for him, the moment their eyes met he knew, it was always him. Chris wipes a stray tear away from his cheek, forcing himself to get out of bed and hop in the shower, he checks his phone before he gets in, seeing a message from Sebastian.  
*"I'll see you at the airport tonight 4pm :)" * Chris smiles lightly, ignoring the pain in his chest. This is happening. He just has to make it to the airport.

 

Chris is standing at the entrance of the airport, bag in hand, staring at the electronic doors, breathing deep. He takes a step forward and makes the trip to check in, looking around for Sebastian.  
He stands in line, pulling out his phone to make a last phone call before the trip begins, just one more thing to tie up. He's attacked from behind shortly into the call, the smaller man clutching onto his neck from behind. He plants a kiss on Chris's neck that makes him shiver. Chris quickly hangs up the phone and turns to greet Sebastian. They check in, and make their way down to customs, heading for a bar near their gate before heading out to check in. They drink their beers, and have a bite to eat, making small talk. Sebastian seems very enthusiastic, pleased with himself almost, Chris is still quiet, smiling at Sebastian when he catches him, but something is pulling at his heart.  
The boys take heir seats at check in, and a few numbers get called in first, and Sebastian and Chris make their way to the back of the line, Sebastian turns to plant a kiss on Chris, who kindly accepts the offer, a light peck on those cherry lips.  
Sebastian is next to check in, and Chris freezes. Sebastian turns to Chris, "You coming?" He says playfully.  
Chris stares at his ticket for a moment, then back at Sebastian, he feels his eyes fill with tears, he's choked up but Sebastian just watches, eyebrows furrowed with concern. "Baby, what's wrong?" Sebastian steps towards him, holding his hand out to him, "I can't do this." Chris takes a step back from his lover, letting the people behind them go ahead of them in line.  
"What?" Sebastian almost whispers, "What do you mean... Chris?"  
Chris lets his tears fall, "Sebastian, I can't take you away from the life you have. I know Margarita is still in love with you, and I can't take that from her. The guilt is eating me alive."  
"I don't love her Chris, I love you." Sebastian is shaking, he drops his bag on the ground, taking a step closer to Chris again.  
"I think you need to go to Rome without me." Chris wipes his tears away, letting Sebastian get close this time.  
"No.. no, no Chris, I don't want to do that. I want to start a life with you. This is about you and me, remember?" Sebastian is almost pleading his life, Chris can feel his heart breaking.  
Chris can't stop his tears from falling, he's breaking both their hearts right now, but he can't ignore what his head and heart have been screaming at him the last few days. This isn't his life, Sebastian had a life with Margarita and he just took it from them. He loves Sebastian more than he has loved anyone, but he loves him enough to know this life isn't what's best for him. He can have a real family with her, a real marriage, a whole life that no one will look down on him for. The selfish side of him wants to take Sebastian's hand and run down that corridor, board that plane and never come back, but he knows the guilt would eat him alive. If Sebastian could have a normal life, Chris wouldn't deny him that right.  
"I'm not the right person for you, it shouldn't be about you and me when you have someone at home waiting for you. I want you all to myself, but you're not mine to want. I'm sorry Sebastian."  
Sebastian is sobbing now, hand on Chris's wrist, begging him not to walk away right now, "We can work this out in Rome baby, I promise. Be selfish for once in your life, let me love you."  
"I can't, I'm sorry."

The final boarding call plays over the speakers and Chris puts his hand on Sebastian's cheek, "You need to go." Chris is still crying, his heart is in a thousand pieces. Sebastian looks up at Chris, his eyes glassy with tears as well as he leans into a last kiss, it's a heart breaking, life shattering goodbye kiss, but Chris lets himself feel it, he pushes Sebastian away before stepping away, he turns his back but not before he sobs out "Call me when you're home safe." Sebastian breathes out a soft laugh, wiping his tears away. He watches Sebastian pass his ticket over and board the plane.  
Chris catches a cab home, he is a blubbering mess the whole way home. He feels his fantasy turn black and white, it's almost at the tip of his fingers, but it's just that much out of reach. He can't have that anymore, Sebastian belongs to someone else, he is not his to want.  
Chris collapses on his bed when he gets home, still mourning his broken heart, trying his hardest to fall asleep to subside the pain.


	5. Still Here

Sebastian is woken up by the flight attendant saying it's almost time to land, his eyes are stinging from silently crying most of the way.   
The seat next to him is empty, he stares at it for a moment before shifting in his seat to look out the window. He'll be in Rome soon, his absolute favourite place to travel. He can book into his hotel and go back to sleep. Sebastian is mentally, emotionally and physically so exhausted. His heart has been aching these last few hours, and he can only blame himself. 

He had a plan, a plan to make Chris happy, to make Chris his, but he was stupid enough not to be able to keep his hands off him. Truth be told he kept the hotel room they made love in, and he slowly started moving things into it. He hasn't quite had the confidence yet to tell Margarita that he was leaving her for another man, she knew things weren't good. Sebastian slept on the couch most of the time, and didn't go out of his way to make conversation. When he told her he was going to Rome, she questioned it but he mentioned it was just a trip for work. He knows she didn't believe him, but at this point he is finished. He doesn't love her, and maybe he really is being an awful person for holding onto her, he's knows if Chris knows they're still together he could never forgive him.

When his plane lands, he turns his phone on. He has a few missed calls from Margarita, which he ignores, but he doesn't have anything from Chris, not a word.   
Sebastian is torn between mad and upset at Chris, he left him at the airport. Sebastian won't forget the look on his face when he said "I can't do this," Sebastian tears up thinking about it. He knows he is the reason Chris can't do 'this.' He is the reason he left him at the airport and went home without him, Sebastian is the one at fault here, and he needs to go home and get him back. He needs to win Chris over, and show him he really is the right person for him. Sebastian knows they belong together, he just needs to show Chris that, and he will. 

Sebastian strolls through the airport, strong in his stride, the thought of winning Chris over is stitched into his brain. He has two weeks in Rome to get himself together and gather a plan, then he'll be off home to be with Chris.   
*'I'll call Margarita when I get to the hotel' * he thinks to himself, this is it. This is the beginning of his future. 

He sits on his bed, staring at his phone. He hasn't kicked off his shoes or unpacked his bag yet, from the moment he walked into his room he was determined to call his girlfriend and break up with her. He will tell her he is in love with someone else and he's sorry. On the trip here, he had planned a speech, and entire monologue but now he's just staring at his phone, he's forgotten everything he wanted to say and now he's frozen in time. His brain flashes a memory of Chris's smile, and he instinctively hits the call button, listening to it ring a few times. There's an answer, but she doesn't say anything, "...Margarita?" He asks, almost uncertain.   
"Sebastian." She says coldly, "I'm a little busy, what do you want?" Sebastian is almost shocked by how blunt she is being, he knows he's about to break her heart for his own selfish gain, but he knows he also hasn't been the best partner she could have. He hopes she can find someone who is more to her than he is. "Um, I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking of moving out." Cutting straight to the chase. No games, not anymore.  
There's silence, and she breathes a sigh, he can hear her frustration, "I know," he looks at his hands, did she notice some of the boxes he moved out the last week or two? He did shift some things while she was at work, things he didn't think she'd notice, "I know about everything Sebastian. I know you're in love with him. I know you went to Rome with him, I know everything." She interrupts his thought. Sebastian is dumb founded, his hand covers his mouth as tries to put the pieces together, "..h..how did you know?" He stutters out, completely caught off guard.   
"Chris called me at the airport, he said something about you not being completely honest with me, and that's he's sorry he hurt me so much. I can't say I'm surprised really,"   
The pieces fall together, Sebastian can finally see the events that happened back in New York so clearly. The night flashes before his eyes, Chris on the phone before he jumped on him, Chris in the bar, picking at his beer bottle label, the words he said, Chris waving him off down the corridor. Sebastian starts crying almost immediately.   
"I don't know why I didn't see it sooner." Margarita finally says, breaking the silence. "You two were best friends, the way he looked at you is more than I've ever seen you look at me, and you were the same. I tried for months to put it in the back of my mind." Sebastian is breathing through his tears, trying to come up with the words to say, "He didn't come with me. He left me at the gate." He gets out, sobbing through his words.   
"You only have yourself to blame for that. Even he had the decency to tell me what was going on." She bites out.   
"I'm sorry Marg. I can't explain what went through my head, I'm just so sorry."  
"Don't be, I'll be gone by the time you get home. I just need one thing from you." She says, Sebastian is a mess at this point, this is not how he planned this conversation to go.  
"I need you to come home and get him back. You hurt him and god damn you hurt me, but I can't believe you fucked up something so good with him. He is a beautiful person. Please don't let him out of your grasp." He hears her smile through the phone, and he feels her finally let go of him, she is free, as much of this is Sebastian moving on with his life, it is also about Margarita moving on with hers.   
"Thankyou Margarita, I'm sorry we ended like this."  
There's silence for a moment before she sighs, "Don't forget what I said." And she hangs up. 

Sebastian lets himself fall backwards on his bed, staring at the ceiling.   
Chris knew, Chris left because he knew about Margarita. Sebastian may have screwed over his last chance with Chris, and he is horrified. He feels his tears fall, he has to fix this.


End file.
